Redefining “Good Enough”: How to Let Go of Unrealistic Standards

January might have hit you hard. Maybe you had grand plans for the new year—visions of hitting the ground running, tackling goals with energy, and feeling unstoppable.

But now? You might be feeling drained, overextended, or just not as amazing as you’d hoped.

If that’s the case, let’s take a deep breath together. Because here’s the truth: You cannot keep showing up to your life using outdated definitions of “good enough.”

Your three-months-ago version of good enough? Irrelevant.

Your three-years-ago version of good enough? Ancient history.

If you don’t update your definition, you’ll end up holding yourself to standards that were either only applicable in past circumstances—or worse, never applicable at all.

Why “Proving” You’re Good Enough Rarely Works

Most advice about overcoming the not good enough mindset focuses on proving why you are good enough.

“Make a list of reasons you’re doing a great job!”
“Write down your accomplishments!”

Here’s the problem: This approach starts from the premise that you might not be good enough. It’s like being a defense attorney for a client you secretly think is guilty.

Imagine: You saw your client steal a purse, and now you have to convince the court he’s actually a great guy. That’s how we tend to argue with ourselves. We’re coming from a place of already believing we’re falling short, then scrambling to prove otherwise.

No wonder it doesn’t feel convincing.

The Exercise That Actually Helps

Instead of making lists about why you’re good enough, I want you to do something different: Write your own job description.

Not on paper, necessarily. You can do this on a walk, in the car, or while staring at your coffee in existential exhaustion. But ask yourself:

👉 What does “good enough” actually look like for me right now?

If you were defining what it means to be a good friend, partner, business owner, employee, parent—what would that actually include?

I’ll even help you get started. ‘Cause here’s what I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t include:
🚫 Never making mistakes.
🚫 Always being available for others.
🚫 Going above and beyond every time.
🚫 Never inconveniencing anyone.
🚫 Working non-stop, even when exhausted.
🚫 Being 100% on top of everything, 100% of the time.

See how absurd that is? AND YET…how often do we judge ourselves by these impossible standards?

What Your 75-Year-Old Self Would Say

Imagine your 75-year-old self—wise, sassy, completely done with the nonsense of self-criticism.

Would she say: “To be a good person, you must always say yes, never need help, and work yourself into exhaustion”?

No. She’d laugh at that. Hard.

She’d say something like, “Being a good friend, partner, or professional isn’t about never making mistakes—it’s about showing up with intention, kindness, and integrity over time.”

The Wide-Lens Perspective

When you zoom out, your real definition of good enough isn’t hyper-specific.

Your definition of a good parent? It’s not “hosting every class event and making Pinterest-level lunches.” It’s likely more about being present, supportive, and loving overall.

Your definition of a good business owner? Probably not “sending emails every Thursday at 8 AM without fail.” More likely, it’s about delivering value, adapting when needed, and showing up consistently over time.

When you take the wide-lens view, you can adjust expectations without guilt—because you’re still meeting your own real standards.

Permission to Change the Definition

If life is throwing curveballs at you, you get to update what ‘good enough’ means this week.

Maybe skipping one podcast episode after two years doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re adapting.

Maybe saying no to hosting another school event doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent—it means you’re setting boundaries.

You’re not letting yourself off the hook. You’re letting go of impossible standards.

And that? That’s not just good enough. That’s wise.

Wait, I need more help!

Is it time to work together? I help overthinking high-achievers trust their choices.

Whether you need help being more decisive, taking up more space in your own life, or truly figuring out what you want so you can take action on it — coaching with me gives you guidance, accountability and an expert in your corner.

We’ll use science-backed tools and proven strategies to change mental and physical habits, decrease your baseline overwhelm, and grow your self-trust to the point that you make clear, conscious, self-honoring decisions with ease, daily.

It starts — naturally — with some decisive action.

Book your no-strings Free Consultation where we’ll talk like humans, break down your goals, identify a path forward, and figure out if we’re a fit to work together.